Friday, January 4, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
a new year!
2008. A new year. I don’t really have a resolution, just want it permanent. Existing unconditional love and care for the kids, being a better mom, laugh more often and seriously to always and never stop gaining. (whenever that happens?!?!)
And for my husband, I wish for his safety.
I fear a lot of things, that he’s not here w/ me and kids, but I know God is always protecting him. Sometimes I feel it’s not fair that all we do is wait. Frustrated because at times, waiting seems it will come to never. Scared and loneliness fills me, hard to breathe at the thought. Why do we have to trail the years missing him for two Christmas, two new years, two valentines day, thanksgiving, our birthdays and our anniversary. So selfish in my thoughts, I can’t help.
To my husband:
You listen to all my pathetic vents, the leisure of solitary & stressful circulation, the courage to fears i’m uncertain to encounter and gives value to my existence. I’ll carry you with me perpetually, you & the kids are the beauty of my surroundings that stress out the unspoken truth sometimes left untold. I’m grateful that I pursued you to maintain, and is my greatest treasure in my heart. I know that at times I fail to demonstrate and construct to understand, I hide in pain the torture that beats me in so deeply with the silence I continuously portray. Failure for the unnoticed obstacles or difficulties you sail in, in my great wonder lay this self-centered heart that will forever atone for its nature. My heart will never set to bush from countless reiteration of cycles. The uneasiness in my mind dwells in knees while I ask God to shower me with good faith and kind heart to be always and forever grateful for our unity and our two kids. The father of my kids, my husband, my best friend, my hero.
I love you!
And for my husband, I wish for his safety.
I fear a lot of things, that he’s not here w/ me and kids, but I know God is always protecting him. Sometimes I feel it’s not fair that all we do is wait. Frustrated because at times, waiting seems it will come to never. Scared and loneliness fills me, hard to breathe at the thought. Why do we have to trail the years missing him for two Christmas, two new years, two valentines day, thanksgiving, our birthdays and our anniversary. So selfish in my thoughts, I can’t help.
To my husband:
You listen to all my pathetic vents, the leisure of solitary & stressful circulation, the courage to fears i’m uncertain to encounter and gives value to my existence. I’ll carry you with me perpetually, you & the kids are the beauty of my surroundings that stress out the unspoken truth sometimes left untold. I’m grateful that I pursued you to maintain, and is my greatest treasure in my heart. I know that at times I fail to demonstrate and construct to understand, I hide in pain the torture that beats me in so deeply with the silence I continuously portray. Failure for the unnoticed obstacles or difficulties you sail in, in my great wonder lay this self-centered heart that will forever atone for its nature. My heart will never set to bush from countless reiteration of cycles. The uneasiness in my mind dwells in knees while I ask God to shower me with good faith and kind heart to be always and forever grateful for our unity and our two kids. The father of my kids, my husband, my best friend, my hero.
I love you!
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